Insecurities
by Inspired Inspiration
Summary: Kili is trying to overcome his insecurities growing up and his uncle gives him some advice.


**Insecurities**

 _Just a little drabble that popped into mind for any of y'all struggling with growing up cause we've all been there before._

* * *

"Kili! Come out of there!" Thorin barked, pounding his fist on the door.

"No!" A tiny voice squeaked from inside, muffled by what Thorin presumed was a towel. "I'm not coming out until I grow a beard!"

Thorin sighed and leaned his forehead against the door. From the end of the hallway, Fili looked over, two newly plait mustache braids shining with freshly polished beads.

"Is he still in there?" the elder brother asked.

"Yes," Thorin sighed. "Go and find your mother, I'll try and lure him out."

"I can hear you, y'know!" Kili shouted from the bathroom as the blonde went bounding down the stairs.

"Yes, I know, Kili," Thorin called. Oh, how young and naive they both were. Yes, Fili was the eldest, the most mature, but they were both still children in Thorin's old eyes.

"Your mother is at the market," Thorin reminded Kili as he turned around and pressed his back against the door, sliding down to sit against the wood. "They might be awhile."

"Good!"

"Kili-,"

"Why can't I grow a beard, Uncle?" Kili's voice cracked. "The other Dwarves tease me about it. A-and all the adults at the feasts and dinners laugh about it, like it's funny. It's not!"

"I know it's not, Kili," Thorin spoke softly. "Have I ever laughed at you?"

"No..?"

"Then why should you worry about what others think?"

"Because!" there was a muffled thump, which Thorin assumed was Kili smacking his face into the towel once more.

"How come you don't get mad when people make fun of you?" the Dwarfling moaned out in frustration. "It's not fair! Why can't everyone treat me like _you_ and run away when you glare at them?"

Thorin blinked. People ran away when he glared at them? That certainly had to be fixed.

"Kili, I don't know why you are so upset about this. In perhaps a couple years you might have the finest beard the Blue Mountains has ever seen."

There was a pause.

"..Really?"

"Yes, really."

"In all of the Blue Mountains?"

"Yes."

"And the Grey Mountains? And the Iron Hills?"

"Of course, lad."

"...And Erebor?"

This time it was Thorin who paused. And with a deep breath,

"In all of Middle-Earth."

Thorin strained to listen carefully for any response and what he heard made him smirk.

Giggles. Absurd, cute, child-giggles that only someone like Kili could make.

The door creaked open and Thorin had to stand up. Turning around he looked down at Kili, brown eyes red and puffy, clutching a towel in his small hand and with the other trailing an imaginary mustache over his upper lip and around until he traced a full beard. The look made Thorin's shoulders shake with silent laughter.

But still Kili didn't step out of the bathroom. Instead he sat down crosslegged in the doorway. Thorin, feeling as if he weren't in a position to argue, sat down in front of him.

"The greatest beard in all of Middle-Earth," he repeated dreamily. "D'you mean it, Uncle?"

"Aye, my lad, I do." Kili's small hand reached out and rubbed against Thorin's own beard.

"Even mightier than yours?"

Thorin threw his head back and laughed. "Kili, there was a time when I too was very insecure about myself. When I was your age I felt the same. So don't think you are alone. Everyone goes through a stage like this."

"Really?" Kili wondered. "What were you sad about, Uncle?"

Thorin sighed heavily. "So many things, Kili, so many things."

* * *

"Stopppp," Thorin groaned as Frerin once more poked him. "I'm trying to read!"

Indeed he was. The eldest prince of Erebor was stretched across one of the couches, a book in his hand.

"Then get your elf-limbs off the couch and let me sit, brother!" Frerin complained. Thorin's ears flushed at the comment.

"Don't call me that," he mumbled into the book.

"What? Elf-limbs? Giant?" Frerin teased as Thorin finally moved his legs and sat beside him. "It's not my fault you don't look anything like a Dwarf, Thorin."

Thorin's dark blue eyes glared at his younger brother over the edge of his book as Frerin pulled out a lonely wooden twig and his dagger and began hacking away at it.

With a nose too long for his face and limbs that have not grown with muscle and sturdiness like a normal Dwarf's should, Thorin was tall lanky Dwarfling who stood out awkwardly amongst the much shorter Dwarfs. He was taller than his father, and Thorin found that a problem.

Bringing his legs closer so he was pressed into the corner of the couch, Thorin hoped perhaps he could shrink by compressing himself together in the folds of the couch. A silly thought, yes, but trying to slouch hurt his back and he had no boots that could be flatter or lower than his own feet.

Thorin scratched at the stubble forming around the edges of his chin. At least that was coming along nicely, he thought with a smug smile, glancing over at Frerin's chin, which was smooth and didn't seem like it was growing anything at all.

The boys' mother walked into the living room, looking over the two princes sitting together.

"Have either of you seen your sister?" she sighed. Thorin and Frerin both shook their heads.

"I'm here, mama!" a voice squeaked as Dis came jumping into the room. And so came the mud trails and the scattered twigs as the princess of Erebor returned from another evening of exploring.

"Young lady, where have you been?" her mother scoffed. "Come on you, upstairs. Now. Time to get you fixed up."

Dis' pace seemed to be slowed significantly as her face drooped and followed her mother.

Silence followed and Thorin thought he could be able to return to his book but the hacking and stabbing from Frerin's dagger at the other end of the couch was off-putting.

"Can you not do that?" Thorin asked with a strained voice.

"Perhaps you should get Mother to fix you too," Frerin spoke, completely disregarding Thorin's question. "See if they can do anything about your elf-limbs."

But Thorin wasn't even in the room to hear the rest of his sentence as he stood up and left.

"Hey, I was only joking!"

Thorin stomped up to his room, book tucked underneath his arm and stormed through the door.

"Elf-limbs," he muttered, going into the bathroom. "Sticks. Giant. Tree. I'll show them."

The eldest son of Thrain inspected himself in the mirror, scrunching up his face at all of his flaws. His forehead was too big, his nose was too long, his limbs were too thin. Everything felt awkward and out of proportion when he walked. All of his friends, especially Dwalin, were walking around with thick muscles and sturdy legs as if they were born like that. But no, not Thorin, no he just _had_ to be the runt in the family.

No one was going to want to be ruled by a Dwarf King who looked like an Elf, Thorin thought miserably, sitting down on the floor, grabbing a towel and shoving his face into it, letting out a long and heavy sigh.

Hours passed and Thorin stayed in the bathroom, trying to fix his appearance enough, scrunching up his face, trying on baggier clothes, but nothing seemed to work.

A sudden banging on the door caught him off guard and he jumped.

"Thorin! Come out of there!" his father barked.

"No!" Thorin squeaked with a voice that wasn't his. "Not until I stop looking like an elf!"

* * *

Kili giggled. "You thought you looked like an elf? Uncle, you look nothing like an elf. You have a beard!"

"Yes," Thorin chuckled. "Very silly, was I not? But you see, everyone has their insecurities. As you grow up you might find that those insecurities are exactly what make you unique."

Kili nodded, resting his chin in the towel.

"Did I help in any way?" Thorin wondered. And his nephew nodded ferociously.

"That's good," he grinned. A door opened and soon Dis and Fili came upstairs to see them.

"Oh, my boys what on earth have you done now?" Dis asked. She tutted at Kili, whose eyes were still red and his nose was still a bit running. "Come on, young man. Time to get you fixed up."

Fili gave Thorin a hand in standing back up. "So you got him out then?"

"Yes," Thorin sighed, looking over his eldest nephew who seemed more and more mature with each passing second. "It took some time, but yes."

Fili smiled and nodded. "That's good. I would never want my brother to feel insecure."

Thorin couldn't help but chuckle and Fili gave him a wondering look. Thorin only shook his head and ruffled Fili's golden mane as they walked out of the hallway. "Another time, Fili. For the time being, perhaps you the best thing to do is keep an eye on your brother. Make sure he doesn't try glueing his hair on his chin like last time, alright?"

Fili grinned. "Alright, Uncle," and he dashed off to follow his mother and brother. On the way as Thorin slowly followed, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the mirror strung up on the wall. Having a moment, he stroked his chin and smiled somberly.

"Not so much of an elf now, eh brother?"

* * *

 _A/N: A quick thing that popped into mind that I wanted to write at 12am it seems! Hope you enjoyed. I'm sorry if any of the characters seem a bit out of character, I wrote it quickly just to get some blurbs out._

 _I don't own anything by Peter Jackson or JRR Tolkien! :)_

 _-Inspired Inspiration_


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